There was once a young boy named D. He was a leader among his peers, but not in a good way. He was a very lazy boy who did not care about school. He struggled with school and had little confidence in himself. As a result, by the time he reached seventh grade, he had stopped trying. He did very little in class and tried to distract his classmates as well. He got in a lot of trouble because of his behavior, but he refused to take responsibility for his behavior.
The mornings his homeroom teacher would give him silent lunch or a detention, he would complain, for all to hear, how horrible his school was and how mean his teachers were. He swore his teachers were picking on him and giving him consequences for no reason at all. He threatened many times that he was going to have his mom have the principal switch him to another team.
After a while, his teachers began to secretly hope that he would, indeed, go to another team. Though she was frustrated at his non-existent motivation, Mrs. Strangenewteacher decided to focus the majority of her effort on the other 114 students who somewhat cared about learning. She began to ignore his misbehavior, and she soon saw his classmates were irriatated with this boy as well.
This turn of events did not sit well with the boy. He become more and more frustrated that his antics were being ignored by everyone that he decided to focus his attention to the only other people who would listen to him: his parents. For weeks, he went home day after day, complaining that Mrs. Strangenewteacher hated him and was picking on him for no reason. With alligator tears, he begged to be switched to another team. Anything was better than being in Mrs. Stangenewteacher’s classroom and being subjected to her unwarrented mean spirit.
As you can imagine, after a few weeks of seeing her son come home so miserable, the boy’s mother went to the school to talk with the assisstant principal about Mrs. Strangenewteacher. The assistant principal knew the boy well and was not fooled by the tears, so he suggested the woman schedule a conference with the team to discuss her issues. “And bring your son to the meeting, too,” he said.
So one Friday morning, the mom and her son arrived at the school to confer with the boy’s teachers. She had come prepared to give Mrs. Strangenewteacher a piece of her mind, but as the other teachers informed her of how her son behaved and performed in their classes, her resolve weakened. Her anger was no longer directed at the young teacher; she was now completely embarrassed and was ready to strangle her own son. After a 30 minute conference, the truth was revealed: the boy’s teachers were tough on him, yes, but it was only because he was doing nothing in their classes except trying to disturb his classmates’ learning.
The mother decided that Mrs. Strangenewteacher did not have it out for her son after all, and she asked her to continue to stay firm with her son. The assistant principal congratulated Mrs. Strangenewteacher for being so well-prepared for the meeting and for standing her ground, and he told her he was proud of her. The boy walked out of the meeting with puffy eyes and a tear-stained face. Mrs. Strangenewteacher was vindicated, and it felt so good.
Woohoo! You know, it’s entirely possible that some time in the next ten years you’ll receive an email from this boy thanking you for standing firm. This may be a turning point in his life. Good for you for providing that possibility for him.
Comment by Dr. Bad Ass — September 28, 2008 @ 12:38 am
nice WORK Mrs. Strangenewteacher!!! Way to stare him down!
Comment by Lizzy — September 29, 2008 @ 7:50 pm
Good for you! I have one question, though: Has the kid’s mom’s head been buried in the sand all these years? It’s hard for me to believe that this kind of behavior would continue for so long w/o Mommy noticing!
Comment by Melissa B. — September 30, 2008 @ 7:22 pm
Nice Job! you didnt give into the powerstruggle he clearly was trying to entice you into. I’m also glad you stood your ground with his mother as well.
Comment by The Bus Driver — October 4, 2008 @ 8:37 pm
Don’t let the other teachers stress you out. I am a year 4 teacher–and it seems like yesterday that I was just starting. I am an afternoon/night time planner too. At 6 in the morning, I am doing good to get 2 matching socks. I like to plan for the next week. I have a general idea of where I would like for my students to be in 4 weeks, but nothing concrete. I think that good teaching is responding to students needs and being flexible.
And the progress report thing never changes. It is always like a big surprise for both students and parents. Some how the 0s that they received in class are surprising and upsetting when they are printed neatly in a column. I call progress reports “The Scheduled Day of Annoyance.” There is a great quote that I have taped in the bottom of my desk drawer in my classroom. It says “Teaching is the ability to listen to anything and not lose your temper or your confidence.” Some days I feel like I am changing the world–progress report day, I feel like I am doing good to not lose my temper or my confidence. I like to schedule myself something nice for those days–like planning to get an ice cream sunday or haircut afterschool.
I also keep an “Ego Book”–when students or parents write me nice notes or create a work that is particularly successful (where I can tell that they are better because of the work I did)–I stash it in the book. It is my secret book–but I get it out on days when I feel discouraged or overwhelmed. I think every teacher should have one.
Comment by another teacher — May 16, 2009 @ 4:21 am